A lot of love, a lot of blood.

Chicago F2010. I'll miss you. Arrival: August 29. Departure: December 13.

Six months. Post pending.

once I wanted to be the greatest.

more than a month later, and this is the wrong time to be updating, I know it is, because in just about 12 hours I have a bundle of work to turn in that determines whether I pass or fail english class, which in turn determines if I graduate. a lot hinges on me picking myself up and putting myself back together in working order but...this just called to me. I know, I know - neely's brain, really, get a hold of yourself. I'm so close to graduation and that fucking diploma - graduation is friday night, at 8 pm, and my family will be there. and this? this I can do. I can do all of this and more and I certainly won't let my own laziness hold me back on that one.

it's not even, technically, summer yet and already everyone's brighter with souls of fireflies buzzing around -pool parties and kissing and milkshakes at one am and sitting in cars with air conditioning off as we talk shit about others and how we can feel the end of everything closing in on us. this is it, this is our last summer and we're free. and fuck has freedom ever tasted so good, because before now, it was only a tease. it was getting taken off the chain and being put on a leash. now, we've got our collars unhooked and we've got our eyes on the mailman up the street, our tails twitching to leave leave leave run run run.

I'm cleveland bound for the months of july and august, and I move into my dorm room august 28th. I'm two blocks from the park and three from the lake and when I close my eyes it's so incredible to me that I've made it through what I have, that I cry and have to hide my face for a minute to compose myself. I find I weep more and laugh more and I've hung out of car windows with the glass down on more than one occasion just to feel as if I'm flying as fast as the wheels beneath me. this is beautiful, and I am beautiful and my passion, my want and crave and utter, animalist need is primal beauty.

I will wait, I will hope and pray.

04.22.10, originally uploaded by Neely Nixon.

this saturday is prom night. I, as I'm sure you have, have heard the clichés - pregnancy, drinking, bad music, prom queen fiascoes, other horrible things that end in a long walk home with your heels hooked on your fingers and guys with their ties pulled apart, dead flowers in their button holes. hopefully, mine won't be that terribly standard, but I have no doubt it'll be similar.

the best song I've heard this week, by bon iver.